I'm 32 years old. Not old, not young; nicely in between. I know what I like and I'm comfortable in my skin - finally after years of feeling prickly and out of place. And I've managed to do that while carrying a huge weight on my shoulders, which I'm pretty proud of.
Multiple Sclerosis isn't simple to explain. It's oh-so-complicated and insidious. No two people are affected the same way. No one is 100% sure what causes it and no one can tell you what your prognosis will be. And on top of that, no one truly knows why or how the drugs prescribed to treat it actually work - if they work at all. I've tried them all. And only one has worked - if you consider working telling someone,"shhh."
I requested copies of 8 years worth of charts from the neurologist I've seen since one year after my diagnosis. I just finished pouring over them - fascinating and depressing at the same time. How many people have documents of their own physical decline? I went from being totally able-bodied to needing a cane in one year. Then after about 3 years it was on to a wheeled walker. Sometimes a wheelchair. Three years ago I got a scooter. So, that's that. I don't have much to say about it. It just is what it is and I am willing to do what it takes to maintain status quo as a functioning member of society. I outgrew the blush on my cheeks when people stared as I hobbled by. Now, as un-confrontational as I am, it's a win if I manage a dirty look. Because ultimately, it's really none of your business.
I was (and still am, to an extent) of the opinion that blogs are for the self-involved and attention starved. More than anything else I want this to serve as a document for me. Because let's face it: I have messy handwriting.
Where to start? Do I just talk about MS? How does anyone get the swing of this? That's enough for now. G'night.